That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
