I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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