Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
