I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
