VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
