I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
