I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
