I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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