I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
