Already got asked if we're dating
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
