The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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