the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
