he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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