He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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