I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
