I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
