are you still at the devil's house?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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