Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
