I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
