Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
