I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
