***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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