And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
