Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
