I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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