Me too!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
