I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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