The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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