I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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