You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
