morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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