I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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