wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Farmville is her only friend.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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