oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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