Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
