I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
