I'm going to jail i love you
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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