thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
