Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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