we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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