Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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