the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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