Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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