dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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