Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
