I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
