are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
