I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
