Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
being pregnant is like rehab
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
