Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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