you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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