I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
