just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
why is half of my head shaved?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
