I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
