Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
