Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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