Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
